I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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