You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize