i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
