would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
