You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize