so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
