Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
