I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Text me some of your sweat
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
