Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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