I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
