he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
