Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
