Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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