in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
