32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
