now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize