its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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