Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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