Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
