one might say we're banned from that church
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
