just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
