I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
