my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
even my farts smell like vagina
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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