He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
