He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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