I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
dude. I can hear the air.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Shame - the story of my life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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