your thong is hanging out like whoa
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
