hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it hurts more in the daytime
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
