I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
