One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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