ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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