tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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