Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
