naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
