just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
