I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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