CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
