holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
