ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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