If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
