If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Terrible idea I love it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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