Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
