i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
