one might say we're banned from that church
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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