after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
