Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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