Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
