I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
