Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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