It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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