If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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