peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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