at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
