So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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