I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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