I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
