12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Everclear isn't food dammit
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
