I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
