Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry RPK hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.

Fav 4 3587 1104
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...

Fav 8 3142 1150
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(903): View more from Texas

He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

Fav 8 5809 1204
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people

Fav 8 4421 1565
share tweet
(386): View more from Florida

And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur

Fav 8 5661 1815
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

Fav 15 3247 880
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(448): View more from

My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today

Fav 1 779 329
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

Then you guys just all showered together...?

Fav 0 49 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.

Fav 0 58 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT