I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drunk is a universal language darling
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
