You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
