yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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