dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
