all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
