With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
