thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize