i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
