You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think my nap took me to another dimension
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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