i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
