I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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