Define "chronic" masturbator.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
