I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
